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Writer's pictureYerusalem Work

Dear Older Me

Will you remember your younger years with joy or regret? The agony of youth forces me to neglect the painstaking details of silence and pressed lips. I am hurt, but you’re here and that’s all I need to know. I don't want to miss this opportunity to reach you. I see room for growth. I believe in you.


You will see change. Autumn leaves turn brown and fall. You will see hope. The sun melts the snow. We all watch with tears in our eyes. Tear down the broken walls. Love will come find you. It's stronger than pride. Someone will stand beside you. Before you are cold and gray, before you sleep in the grave, take out this letter that I hid for you. Who will save you?


You’ve believed in God so long. I want you for once to doubt with passion - to avoid taking action, to sit and ponder verses from Scripture, to stay long at the feet of mercy, even if at first, you feel unhinged. You are not a criminal with guilt. You are like gold - gilt poetry. Look at yourself and have compassion. Those who know you will be surprised that you have lied to yourself, that you have pretended to have certainty. It’s always the first love who perfectly breaks your heart - a jagged rock. You’ve kept this one secret, stayed numb instead of healing from the beating. You’ve lost all feeling.


You never learned to love in return. I hope you prove me wrong. Have you ever loved with the lights on? Somehow the dark consumed you, extinguished your light, but you can renew you. You can sing along. It’s time to sing your song.


Go to God with your fears and your faiths. Clean the slate. Draw near to the sound of heaven. It’s like the ocean. You are more powerful than ten thousand men bent on violence. Carry your peace with you wherever you go and you’ll emerge undivided, but don’t take your life. Promise you won’t take your life, though the road ahead is bumpy. Keep your sorrows private. Sometimes it’s good to be quiet. Some things are better left unsaid. When it's your turn to dance, don't fight it. Take the stage. Say yes! You are blessed.


Wishing you all the best,

Yeru


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