Looking for love

“I love you for the sake of Allah,” she said to me. My teacher encouraged each one of us, her students, with words of empowerment and inspiration. She noticed when we struggled.

Lately, I had been bullied. In class, I had the darkest skin. It did not go unnoticed. They used to throw spitballs in my direction when the teacher turned her back. They plastered my locker with advertisements for skin whitening cream. Hint, hint. To be accepted, you had to be as pale as moonlight.

“I’m ready to give up Islam,” I said to Mrs. Deen. “I’m tired of the discrimination.”

I wore hijab. I dressed modestly. I stood out among non-Muslims, but I found no refuge in the Muslim world. I was a stranger in a strange land.

Mrs. Deen’s comforting words fell on deaf ears. She quoted the Qur’an and the hadith about how we’re judged based on piety, not skin color. “You’re Allah’s creation. He fashioned you, Maryam.”

“Look, I’m of the opinion that everyone is beautiful, but some people are blind to that fact. I respect Allah’s creation. I just don’t get treated fairly. I want out.”

After an hour-long, makeshift therapy session, I promised not to give up Islam despite the rampant racism. It’s a question of what happens on the other side of the grave. If you believe in Allah, you obey His commands and follow His guidance. If Allah loves you, He will guide you.

Meanwhile, I had a presentation to prepare for. My topic was the last speech of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. After I described the rhetorical devices he used in his khutbah, out of nowhere, my heart opened up and I said to the class, “I wish you Jannah - the highest level in Jannah.”

Muhammad, peace be upon him, was a mercy from Allah. He announced over a millennium ago that there is no racial superiority - not black over white or vice versa.

Slowly, at a glacial pace, things changed in school. Our class started praying together side by side regardless of color. The taunting and teasing abated. I was not subject to pranks. This renewed my faith.

I told Mrs. Deen about my newfound optimism. She said she had good news for me. One of my classmates, Bilal, was interested in marriage.

“Bilal, the one who calls the adhan?”

“Yes, sweetheart, he proposed...”

“This is good news. In shaa Allah, I can discuss it with my Wali before moving forward and arranging a meeting,” I said, delighted. “So, there is a light at the end of a tunnel.”

“Yes, there is,” Mrs. Deen said. “I’m so happy for you. Life has twists and turns, but...”

“But, hey, I thought Islam was the Straight Path.”

“Stay on the deen, sister. Allah will guide you down a path that is straight.”

Mrs. Deen and I discussed the beauty of Islam and how Allah knows our intentions. I was looking for love and in Islam found a beautiful pattern of conduct. When problems arose, I continued to follow the example of the Prophet, peace be upon him. He was truly an inspiration.